DEATH ~ a cruel inconvenience or a necessary transition?

DEATH ~ a cruel inconvenience or a necessary transition?

Anyone must wonder why I choose to start my blog on a topic considered ominous, taboo even. As I have come to learn, nothing that affects us should be off limits, we must push beyond the fears around a topic, to be able to peel the layers that surround it, and shed of the illusions and limiting beliefs if we are to understand it. This piece is borne out a new understanding of death as a subject, and no matter our beliefs and in light of our diversity, will hopefully provide some insight…

Death has been a frequent visitor this year, not directly, but from public figures who have passed on as well as from friends who have lost their loved ones. There have been conversations about these events and almost all of the time, the affected have expressed bitterness at being “snatched” of a person they love or look up to. There is often the feeling of great loss and injustice at how “helpless” we are in the face of death. It seems to have no equal and cannot be stopped.  

An interesting thing has happened recently, with regards to how I view death. Almost as if it’s a mindset cultivated organically, because I didn’t notice the change happening. When talking with people about death, I often feel like they are coming from a place of defeat at a game they are bound to lose. It feels like the relationship we have with death is one that is steeped in fear, hopelessness, mystery and even darkness.

Having experienced death at a personal level, I absolutely do not downplay its force on our lives. The pain is real, the grief can be agony, and the loss can be profound. But is this all there is to death? Just painfully harrowing emotions? Isn’t this an opportunity, like everything else in life, for us to learn and question? Is there another angle from which we can view death?

My previous understanding of death was that it is an end, just a boring end. Where you go into a void of nothingness and totally cease to be. It was a painful perspective in terms of the people I love, for I did not want to see them become “nothing”. As for me, it meant to enjoy life as much as I could ~ go all YOLO because one day there would be a dead end. It also was a comfort because dissolving into nothingness meant the non-existence of hell ~a place that I feared a child, and that never sat well with me afterwards…

Death has been described using harsh terms, “as a cruel hand”, we say “death has robbed us” and we sometimes even use the word “perish”. But from whose perspective is this? Do the dead feel like a cruel hand has taken them? Or that they have perished? If religion promises a heaven, how are believers to attain this heaven if not through death? If we are energy, don’t we just transform into another form of energy when we “physically” die, because energy cannot be “killed”?

When a young person dies, we often feel as if they have been “taken” before they accomplished their mission on earth. Everyone wants to live to a ripe old age. But if we are souls that are on this earth-plane to fulfill a purpose, albeit living in “meat” costumes, then we definitely have diverse purposes and diverse journeys. Some are here to learn or teach love, others generosity, others authenticity, and so on and so forth. Does a young body equal a young soul? Where do we get the idea that we have to live till we are 90 for this to be a life of purpose? Don’t we have children who die young and everyone talks about how beautiful of a soul they were/are? Maybe their purpose was to shower love around and they managed to do that in a huge dose? How else would we learn about grief and healing if we never experienced death?

We all have to get out of here somehow, does it matter the method? Yes to the living, because we do not want to experience the pain of dying, I find this an inconvenience as well. But maybe once we are on the other side, we are relieved of the physical pain of death and dying and of the painful emotions of the human life such as guilt, shame, insecurity, heartbreak… We realize that somehow, we had to shed off this body, this costume, and a graceful exit is not always guaranteed. I am sure death on the human/ living side and on the soul/ spirit side is viewed very differently.

A friend asked me why we have to live out our lives with people and then have them suffer when we die or go through our own suffering when they die. My own knowing is that since we are souls that are living a human experience, and we have a human body as a vehicle to live this out; we have to go through the whole spectrum of the human experience. We are born, we get friends along the way, lovers, family… a whole host of interactions that surround us with people that care for and love us. These are just but avenues through which we learn the lessons of the soul ~ manifested in human interactions, but ultimately, we go as we came, when our journey is done here ~ alone. The path cannot be traveled in a vacuum. We also mustn’t get stuck on our “teachers”, but get the lessons to stick. 

If you believe in reincarnation, then the better! You’ve been here before, and will be here after…This feels like a consolation, to someone whose fear makes them dream of cheating death, but of course escaping anything is only but a postponement and really just an illusion. If we reincarnate, then the whole purpose of this is to evolve our soul each and every time we are back on earth, so that at some point, the soul will have evolved out of the lessons to be learnt here and can exist elsewhere, at a much higher state… this to me, is a beautiful aspect, where rather than disappear into some non-existential abyss, I become truly eternal!  Sounds like the true paradise…

With a more expanded mind, and a much more open heart, I choose to perceive death differently, that my loved ones have just slid out of their costumes onto the other side “a transition” ~ that they have expanded out of the limitations of the human body, to a more fluid one, more like how you get back home and slide out of your tight pants and immediately feel at ease, no longer constricted. I will see my interaction(s) with them as a blessing as well as learning opportunities. I will understand that just like me, they have their own soul journeys to undertake, and it does not end with a physical death. I choose to stay with their energy, and feel this comfort me. Yes I will definitely feel the pain, miss them greatly, but ultimately, I will want to celebrate them rather than forever mourn them. Because celebration is about us all, while mourning makes it only about me, thus, a lost opportunity…

~ Stay Conscious ~